...the reverse side of beauty..//..Mantified

If you're not already on Twitter, SUGIZO's already ahead of you! He has also set up his Official Facebook Page. It's really exciting to see all these JRockers on Twitter, which include the likes of Miyavi, Aoi and Ruki of the GazettE. Squee!

And of course, I'm now officially on Twitter too! I made it a while ago, but as opening up a web page on my lappy just to read tweets isn't really my style, I haven't used it much...that's until I got myself a swanky new iTouch 4! So yes, if you're interested in following, my Twitter is TaintedMantis. I've also linked this blog to Twitter, so updates will come to you straight away!

Welcome to my daily randomness!

Not that I'm normally a fan of haunted houses, but after watching the promotional video (by Korean ex-pop star EnJel - it shows the decline of the Hong Kong music industry when they don't use someone who's local and decent in entertainment), I'm having some second thoughts about not going again this year.

As for the advert...I think it's fantastic! Even though it's kind of Lady Gaga, the make up, costumes and big hair (on EnJel) are wicked! It's one of those times when I really feel inspired to do something like that.

If I've got a chance this year, I'll definitely go! Significant anniversaries are the times when they'll make events more interesting.

I've finally got myself to sit down and watch the Cartoon KAT-TUN series! I've been meaning to watch them, but YouTube only has snippets of funny bits and all that randomness. I'm currently only up to episode 19 (out of 152 for all 3 seasons). Season 1 features 100Q, where guests fill up the questionnaire sheet of 100 questions prior to the show. Some of them were interesting, others were pretty boring (you would think so too if you have to endure watching one episode after another for 3 hours straight!)

Most of it features Taguchi getting his ass kicked (literally!) by Koki in the beginning, and I do love the Smiley Olympics, which is mainly made of Nakamaru's epic failure to smile. XD



And now that I've got my sound back (YIPEEEEE!!!), have to catch up on the other Japanese dramas. I've been aching to watch the Japanese version of Hana Kimi for ages. Nakatsu is hilariously funny when he's talking to himself. Oh! The music! The music that always get switched on when Nakatsu sees Ashiya! Ah...comic relief! Now, I should go and getmyself some Gokusen and Wallflower. Oh, how I <3 those streaming videos!

Ore wa homo ja naaaaaaaiiii!!!

I was told really early in the term that they were going to "choose which students to enter the fashion show". But lately...seems it was their original intention to shove all of us into the show. What gives?

My workmanship is shit. And because of this, I have to redo 2 of my garments. What the shit?

So...where's the "choosing" in all this? I would very much like to know.

At the end of the day, I'm just glad that it's almost over. I honestly cannot afford another year of not sleeping and doing terrible things to my liver and kidneys.

Finally! A preview of the song!



If it gets removed from YouTube for copyright reasons, the preview can also be heard at the Kuroshitsuji official site in the back track or on their offical homepage (watch or skip the flash introduction then click on number "10" to find the preview).

I love it - it's old school GazettE that sounds like Regret and Zakurogata no Yuuutsu, which we haven't heard in ages. I was secretly hoping for a ballad like Distress and Coma or another Before I Decay, but they aren't going to release singles that are too similar to their previous ones in consecutive sections. As in the TV interview with Reita and Uruha a few years back (around the release of Hyena), Uruha stated that whatever next single they'll release, they'll use it to break the previous image. It keeps things exciting and me always anticipating whenever something new comes up. So fat chance of another hardcore for me!

Another news is that they've switched from King Records to Sony Music. Initially, I was almost freaking out because I thought they were going to be some commercialized band, but the last line in the entry by Music Japan+ states that they're still part of PSC. Which brings some relief as I do not want to see them being associated to the likes of...I don't know...Johnny's Entertainment (nothing against the Johnnies, but given it's pretty much a boy group manufacturing company...hahaha). I would very much like the GazettE to remain true to themselves by creating songs they want to do - not because they're forced to associate themselves in some marketing scheme to grab more money.

Having said that, I guess I don't need to worry so much. Alien Ducky has translated Ruki's blog, and boy is he mad at the fans for misunderstanding the GazettE's association with the anime!

"What I want everybody to not have any misunderstandings about is the fact that it is not a song made to match an anime.

I have said so a number of times even in interviews and such, I absolutely will not, and cannot make songs or write lyrics in this fashion."

Well, thank God! Not that I have anything against them having a theme song with anime, it's just the fear that they might have changed musical directions. Or some nutty anime fangirls who will jump up and down around them because of the anime rather than because of their music.

And about commercialization? He really did make a strong statement.

"Next, there are also people telling us not to turn into a commercial band, but this is a foolish question.

I’m not about to go and make amends to the GazettE from it’s beginnings.

I’m human too, so with age my thoughts change too, and there is a part of me that grows into an adult.

What doesn’t change, what cannot change, is that we will play the music we want to play."

Thank you very much! As long as they remain true to themselves and continue to do what they do because they want to, I'm happy. I truly believe this is what artists should do: do it because they want to rather than do it because they're forced to. *more rave points for the GazettE*

The rest of the blog entry can be found in Ducky's Translations Blog (which I instantly hit the "follow" button just because I need more information and am really interested in what they say in interviews. XD)

Having said all that I just realized how much I hate doing art that's imposed on me. Is it because of this that I'm starting to resent some of the things I do? Is it my pride is getting in the way of thinking? I honestly don't know. Right now, I'm just too flustered and panicked to think clearly.

GAH.

I definitely need a break. I just got K.O.ed last night. I need to do a few more fucking all-nighters this week to finish my work.

Enough of that.

And finally, had I gone to the V-Rock festival last year, this is what I would have seen:



GAZEROCK IS NOT DEAD. *continues drooling at Uruha's wavy hair*

Well, it's been nearly 2 months since I've touched down in Singapore. Though there are some good stuff going on, I still prefer Hong Kong. For way, way, way...too many reasons.

The food here is awesome though!

Other than that, I've been updating on Project 365 everyday since January 1st. It's been great at documenting some of the stuff I've been doing here so far. I can't wait to see and feel what happens when I actually do complete 365.

My 365 blog here!

Merry Christmas y'all!

Now time to buy marshmallows to barbecue at my grandma's house. ^^

I don't normally talk about the small things about my life here, but what I witnessed yesterday probed me to feel compelled to write this.

You know how when you're a child and you see something that you feel only grown ups do and feel like there's some sort of magic going on in such a way that you wished you were an adult? I'm sure this is what the girl who watched my nails being painted felt when she curiously stood right next to us right when the manicurist was applying the dark red polish on me. She had this look of wonder at that moment as if she wished that she too could take part in this ritual of making your nails look dangerously beautiful.

Then again, I was probably like that when I first discovered make up and ransacked my mother's wardrobe. It's as if you've unearthed some foreign treasure that holds secrets to the species called woman.

Looking at my glossy pinot noir and nicely shaped finger nails right now, I can't help but think...I've certainly come a long way from a plain teenager to a GazettE fan with newly pierced ears. Maybe it's time to search for more and new magic.

If there is one event worth going to Japan for, it's for the Visual Rock Festival in October!

Full details here

Groups like Alice Nine, Marilyn Manson, SuG, Versailles (I really hope they'll appear, given the recent circumstances - sincere condolences and RIP Jasmine You), Moi Dix Mois, LM.C, Kagrra, etc...and of course, the GazettE's going to be there too! In all honesty, I really want to go, but I don't know if I'll end up breaking my bank account first, hahaha. Shame that Miyavi isn't going to be there, I bet he would probably end up making the audience even larger.

It really does feel like the end of summer now. I bet I'll be seeing those Chinese kids with huge bags on their backs next week. Being in work mode most of the time really does take years out of my life with little sleep, mental stress and questionable diet. Now, I'm so tired I could pretty much drop off to sleep in some places and I end up day dreaming most of the time.

Speaking of years, given the frequent Facebook updates, I keep getting news of friends who are either engaged or have gotten married. Some with surprising intentions to settle down early than anticipated back in high school. I had the occasional "who would have thought" moments. Even I myself have to arm whatever comes out of my mouth, be it questions from people about me getting married or whether I plan on having kids. Looking around, in the midst of happy faces, I see something that I really want...something a little further away , but yet I could still take a shot of grasping it: an adventure. I have yet to finish what I actually want to do - studies in design and a proper head start on a real career. That, of course, will take a while to achieve. I'm just hoping that the overall plans will go smoothly.

Paperwork sure is a bitch.

On an ending note on this, I bring you...feathers of nostalgia. (from the GazettE's Cassis PV)

For some reason, I feel that I don't care about work lately. I'm exhausted, yes, but despite the fact that I normally have passion in what I do, it's as though I really don't give a shit recently. I need a serious break from all this craziness.

Sometimes, when you're forced to design something, nothing comes out. No matter how much you rack your brains, it seems that all the cells have decided to go on strike. Not inspired, nothing good, absolutely nothing.

It's a bit like demanding my brain to throw up, except there's nothing to throw up. You know how you get air sick or car sick or sea sick, and you feel like throwing up yet you didn't eat anything for your stomach to regurgitate? Well, emotionally, in the artistic sense, it's exactly like that. Really tiring, bothersome and so twisted to the core, you just couldn't force anything out no matter what.

I think that's what happened lately. Then again, when life gets in the way (read: "shitty landlord problems"), just trying to mentally relax is difficult. And only when the brain is relaxed can you do something interesting with it.

I'll just pop some alcohol open, not think and watch some the GazettE/Miyavi videos. I'm thinking too much.

After months of piling things up, I've finally (spent 2 days) cleaned my poor flat (because I was forced to).

I managed to find all sorts of weird stuff lurking about in there. Man, months of things can really create a horrible mess.

So, as the landlord is bringing people over (who are buying a flat), I'd better keep it that way.

Out of all people I expect to be online on MSN, today there was one person whom I certainly didn't expect: my childhood best friend.

After a few greetings, we talked a bit to catch up on the past. Apparently she's now married and has a kid. And her younger sister too. Given the rate at which things are going on, it seems that many people my age have already started settling down. And I am still studying.

But perhaps I work at a slower rate. I develop one step behind most people. But again, I'm doing things in my own pace, one step at a time.

I'm going to make them proud. Especially her. I know she's watching me somewhere, appearing in my state of unconsciousness. I will have a sense of nostalgia, but reflecting on the past will make me a stronger person in the end. After all, life is about moving forwards.

After some more intensity and a range of events that happened, I feel like I'm really losing it. My sanity, my sense of responsibility, my will to get certain things done...all gone. I've been agitated since Easter as that day approaches.

This is probably the point where it gets all emo. But let's not go there with teenage angst.

But seriously, recently I haven't been myself. It's as though a cold fist is closing in on my heart and twisting it while it's thumping hard to break free. I feel like I've been ventilating more frequently and am spending more restless and sleepless nights.

And this is sort of affecting my designs in a way. I don't seem to care much about what I'm doing anymore. Is this what they call "designers' phase" where we simply drift in and out of what we do?

Life feels like a bitch at the moment.

After a near full week of intensive start of term, I think I finally understand what inspiration really is. The dictionary term for inspiration is: "Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity".

I shall further explain in my own words.

We're inspired everyday. Not necessarily in the design sense, but we're always inspired by something. For example, if the weather reaches 30C on a bright sunny day, I'll be inspired to wear my sunglasses and eat some ice cream. Or say...if I were watching a documentary on Parisian city life, I'll probably want to go to Paris for holiday because it looks like an awesome city - which means that I'm inspired to go to Paris. Or maybe I've had a stressful week and I want to take a long candlelit relaxing bath to wind down, then I'm inspired to do so. Then perhaps I'm watching a horror movie and there's a scary little girl in green lights at the top of the stairs, I'll probably start screaming and hiding my face under the covers. All this is inspiration. It's when something stimulates us to want to do certain actions with certain emotions.

Now for the design part. As designers (this is the same for people working in the arts field), our level of inspiration should be a lot higher compared to others. Meaning that we should constantly be aware of our surroundings, frequently taking things in and analyzing why we want to do certain things; finding inspiration becomes way easier once you know where to look. Actually, let me rephrase that: finding inspiration is all about knowing who you are. Knowing your likes and dislikes. Knowing why you like certain things, and why you don't. Understanding what things you're drawing to. Your preferences. Of course, there are more things about yourself to discover through the process, but let's stop here for now.

And given my current mind state, I've been really inspired lately by the GazettE (<3). I've been searching for their photos high and low and I've come across some older ones of what they look like.

This is Ruki from the earlier days:



And this is the cover of Neo Genesis magazine in 2006 (Uruha can really pass off as a girl with those hot pants and thigh boots).



I'm serious when I said that Uruha could pass off as a girl.



Cockroach days.



What I'm amazed at is that despite the fact that they're more of the punk rock look, they could come up with dramatic image changes from song to song and from album to album. And it's just not like...maybe hair up today and hair down tomorrow. They could still manage to look completely different in terms of style while maintaining the same "we're the GazettE" essence. I really would like to follow that as an example.

And right now, I'm really inspired to do a really cool looking vector art on Ruki and/or Uruha. I think their strong make up, hair style, colours, styling and poses could really give inspiration. They're absolutely gorgeous. I could use some eye candy now. *drool*

I ought to take more trips down to the Mong Kok area. Apparently, places like Argyle Center on Sai Yeung Choi South Street have loads of really cool boutiques. And aside from spending nearly HK$1000 on some cool Japanese imported clothing, I've also managed to grab another $1000 worth of gothic lolita items, though less lolita and more grown up goth. Chains, lace, leather, tartans, buckles, spikes...you name them. Blame it on the GazettE for my recent interest in dressing up like a problem emo child! I have to admit, I feel that the items I got were real bargains.

Hong Kong is a dangerous place for money spending.

And strolling along Gold Fish Street (I forgot the real name of the street) looking at pets have fed some weird feeling of nostalgia. Especially when I smell unwashed doggies.

Of course, in the end, in search of more hawtness, I've stumbled across some really awesome gif animation of the GazettE in Distress and Coma (credit goes to rubyzinha). Ruki (the vocalist - the guy with the lace gloves) is so seksi. Speaking of which, it's written somewhere that he's only 162cm. That's like...about 1 inch taller than me. o___O

My favourite image? This one.

I'm finally done with the game! I've still got a couple of side quests to do, but I've actually beaten the final boss! He's a real bitch near the end, but after a few years of on and off playing, it's been fun. Now all that I need to do is to clean up and finish the crazy Cave of Ordeals.

Ah...I love my Wii.

After being stuck in the frikkin' cold for months, I'm so glad to be back in Hong Kong for my break. I've literally pampered myself within the last 48 hours, ranging from bath soaks and leg waxes to the hair salon session and real manicures. And it's nice to have someone looking after me and thinking for my meals for once. Now I need some retail therapy.

I can finally feel my sanity returning to me now. I actually feel like a human again.

Damn me for not working faster. Damn me for getting distracted really easily. Damn damn damn. Man, I just hope that this Triumph comp is worth my zits. And I need a good scrub. And a warmer bed. Damn you Shanghai for being this cold still!

Edit: I plan to go home on time tomorrow. Work work work! 'cuz I need a full body scrub at New Star. I hope it's not closed by the time I get there tonight!

I think I should stop being so passive. Wait, it's all the fatigue's fault. I was shopping for some extra fabric at the market, and I was asking for a certain silk print that the stall didn't have. Apparently, the one that I wanted was only 2 positions away! Damn me for causing this embarrassment! Damn my fatigue!

Thankfully, both the store people were nice to me at the time and laughed it off when they saw how totally tired I looked.

Man, Triumph is killing me.